i see so much of you in him

I was wrong, time does matter. 

Movies that talk about waiting for 

and loving someone for years still remind me of only you. 

I'm not in love with you anymore 

but i still see you in lovers that write letters to each other. 

Your name circled my mind over and over again 

when i felt him kissing my neck. 

I kept quiet and didn't dare mutter a word 

just in case your name escapes my mouth the way it's screaming in mind. 

I'm not in love with you anymore 

but sometimes i can still feel your skin against mine. 

It's like muscle memory, 

my mind may have forgotten but my body reacts to touch like it's always been yours. 

I imagine you look the same after all these years, 

standing by your wooden door i never figured out how to open, 

in your white worn out dry-fit shirt and red basketball shorts. 

God damn it, those basketball shorts. 

I'm not in love with you anymore 

but i still remember the view from your bedroom window at 5am. 

The trees outside your window, 

your desk under the pale moonlight, 

your violin sitting on the left, 

your arms wrapped around my waist.

Songs that i say i hate are the ones that remind me most of you. 

That day when we strolled down the theatre hallway 

hand in hand after a movie, 

i felt like i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.

I'm not in love with you anymore, 

but still i could, i could. 

I still keep the ring you gave me to remind myself not of you 

but of promises that have been broken. 

It's unbelievable how i can still write about you despite not having you in my life.

I swear i'm not in love with you anymore 

but some nights i'm not sure i'll ever stop writing about you and the love we had. 

It was an intense romance, the ones that some people can only dream of. 

Our love consumed me. 

I'm not in love with you anymore, 

but i guess i will always love you.