falling out of love

it hurts
i thought the endorphins from running would numb it
but i still feel a sinking, drowning feeling in the pit of my stomach
running felt good for awhile
till i reached the beach and saw a plane flew by
it reminded me of endings and goodbyes

falling out of love with you started
when you pulled away and avoided my touch
it continued with you letting me walk home alone in the middle of the night
falling out of love with you happened the same time as falling in love with you

falling out of love with you confused me
i never knew when i started falling in love with you
i never knew i could fall out of love with someone i was never with
i knew you were there, i know you have always been there
i guess i forgot how things felt like without knowing you're a call away

falling out of love with you felt like hell
it felt like interlocked fingers and eyelashes on cheeks
it sounded like your breathing and classical music
it looked like a painted picture of heads on shoulders and nights beside each other
it tasted like 4am goodnight wishes

for the last time all at once

falling out of love with you hurt the most
when i realized you were done with falling out of love with me
it hurt the most when i could count down the hours, minutes, moments to when i'd last see you
i've heard that not being able to say goodbye hurts
but i think goodbye hurts most when right in front of it

you asked me how long i'd need
maybe i need as much time falling out of love with you as i did falling in love with you
;4 years
i won't see you when i think i'm no longer in love with you
i'll see when i can't fall in love with you anymore