maybe i just want someone that’ll buy me my fav flowers
someone that’ll meet me in the middle of the night
and sit with me & listen to my favourite songs by the beach

someone that wouldn’t just call me when they’re drunk
or keep saying they need me around
someone that understands that i’ll never be theirs
because i’m only my own

someone that’ll kiss me in the rain
and take me on long drives
& not ask me about what scares me
or why i don’t like to talk about certain things

someone who’ll stop trying to dig deep into my bones
someone who’ll just make me laugh till i ache & feel a little safer

some days i miss you so much my soul aches

if you didn’t have such a ear for music,
maybe i wouldn’t miss you as much when my favourite songs play

days like this, i think so much about you
-
about how you were, how you could be & about how you are
i want more for you,
things don’t feel right with you being there & me being here

so i try to drown you out
by spending all my time occupied with music & booze & laughter
but i still wake up in the middle of the night on some days
walk over to where you used to sleep
& wish i could sit with you & talk about endless nothings like we used to

you’d tell me to listen to this & that song
i’d tell you to watch this & that movie
we’d sneak in a fag
& head to bed feeling a little less empty

some things (& people) you love so much,
it’s easier to try not to love them at all