is this how it feels like to be 18?

sitting on the roof, I have a fag (and) 

& I feel, I see, I think

(in chronological order of magnitude) 

which was nice for a change -

nowadays I think I think more than I feel (see?).

I miss this 

just like how I'd miss fake plastics trees playing to my thoughts

once my iPod shuffles next.
(since when did this song have this beat?)
it's nice that there are images to the lyrics now.

it's kicking in,

I'm spinning.

I panick, kinda, thinking I'm really spinning

I remind myself of my body here,

take a deep breath,

calm myself down,

enjoy the high.

I wanted to read a book
but now I just want to listen to Barcelona.
I always do this.
I waste things on other less (more) impt things.

I think of you, too
I wanna call you
but I want to throw up
& I don't want to say goodbye.

I worry about the way sitting here, looking at this,
makes me want to write about wanting to call you
more than it makes me want to call you.

but I still love you
I know because I still listen to Bones by Ben Howard
because I know you like it.
I like that you like the same songs as me.