I'm sorry I can't give you a call or send you a text asking if you're okay. I know you're not but my dear, if I did, it would show you that cared about you. I want to help but if I do, you'd assume this is what I expect from you too and you'd text me the next time you think I'm not doing well. I can't let you do that. I can't let you do that because in your eyes, I'm never well. just because I don't have the things that make you happy doesn't mean I'm not happy. I'm not you, why can't you just understand that. why do you make me feel so fucking pathetic and sad, like I'm trying to justify my well being. why can't you just accept that maybe I am perfectly alright. can you please stop trying to force your ideal life down my throat. I don't want that, I don't, please. you have to believe me, you have to believe what I tell you so that I'll believe it too.