If you could keep only one memory, what would it be?

The night we spent together listening to music

my head against your chest

as I listened to your steady heartbeat 

when we made each other laugh 

without trying 

when I felt blissful with you by my side

and I still remember how 

we talked about forever 

and how I thought to myself 

"if I got to spend every night

with you, like this,

I could get past the hardest days"

and you'd tuck me in to sleep

how I'd always nudge you to say

goodnight and 

tell me you love me 

that flashed through my mind 

that was the first memory I considered to keep

then I untangled my knot of thoughts

and now I'm sure 

that that would be the memory 

I'd get rid of first 

I don't want to be reminded of 

the broken promises 

the love I once felt for you 

the feeling of forever 

and I'm trying to get over it 

and I think I am succeeding 

that brings me to you 

-

you're a pure kind of infatuation 

I could name out reasons why I like you

I smile at myself sheepishly

just because you looked at me 

I like the way my name sounds on your tongue 

I think the best would be your smile 

but we're worlds apart

you're like a white canvas

I'm a rough paper painted over and over again 

and I figured 

if you saw how screwed up I am 

how needy and afraid I am

you wouldn't want anything to do with me 

and I actually like you too much

whether as a friend or a lover or just a person 

to let you have anything got to do with me

you're the 3rd guy I've written about 

and I can't decide if I want to see more of you appearing or not 

we accept the love we think we deserve 

maybe that's why I chose the 2 before you 

and maybe I can't choose you 

because I probably don't deserve you