20 facts about me

1. I love my name

2. I make decisions biased on my gut feeling way too often

3. My favorite subject is English (and honestly I've never heard someone else say that)

4. I don't believe in friends 

5. I like it when people say I'm musically inclined because I love the performing arts (acting/dancing/singing/playing instruments)

6. I love to sleep (more than normal people should)

7. I believe really strongly in horoscope readings 

8. I am very hot but also short tempered so I flare up badly but I get over it quickly

9. I like spicy food alot 

10. I am very accident prone since young (I walked right into a wall this once)

11. I am very picky when it comes to drinks (I can easily name you 20 drinks I don't drink)

12. I am a lousy texted so if I reply you, you're pretty darn special 

13. I prefer to eat cold things over hot things 

14. I dislike stepping on/coming in contact w water other than when I'm bathing or swimming 

15. I am very stubborn

16. I hate the feeling of warm paper

17. I like this space (my blog) alot

18. I love kids alot (most of them)

19. I try to be as emotionless as possible on the outside 

20. I like cafes and quiet coffee places 

An addiction

You know what you are to me? 

You're like a cigarette. 

At first I try it once 

be it for the excitement 

or for the thrill.

i choke on my first puff 

but curiosity gets me trying again 

then it starts to taste better 

and better

and before I know it I get addicted

more and more each day 

i know it's bad for me 

I know it's no good

so I try to stop 

i get determined and 

the naive me 

thinks I can do it 

it's good for the first hour 

but it gets harder 

and harder 

and soon enough I give in 

I start again 

more than ever 

finally I'm forced to stop

but I can't 

so I bargain

I bargain for perhaps 

a stick per day

and again, 

at first all is well

then I start to take it for granted 

and I do it again 

more and more each day 

- 

I lose you, I bargain 

I get you back, I take for granted 

I'm not a smoker

and neither are you a cigarette 

but you are an addiction 

and i never should have started 

even if i do regret it 

even if I admit you're no good for me 

i can't stop 

Immobile

You lay in bed the whole day

you're not hungry 

you can't do anything 

you just want to stay in bed 

under sheets 

and after awhile you feel numb 

you don't feel that upset anymore 

then you scroll past a post 

or start to uncontrollably think about it

and you start to weep 

first it starts out as a tear drop 

then you start to frown 

and before you know it 

it's the cries that 

you struggle to breathe through

your chest goes 

up down

up down 

you try to remain as silent as possible

you don't want people to ask you about it

you want 

as much as possible 

to be left alone 

till it's over 

but i don't know when will it be over

I remember love

laughing in bed

while the world was 

far away

love aching 

with 

tired eyes,

full hearts, 

and lonely skin

There are monsters who act like people 

but I know

deep down

that you're merely a person acting like a monster