I find it fascinating that one of you can make me feel better than everyone else in the world put together. The ease of having you overwrites any other bad thing. When you know exactly what to say at the right time, just the right way. You don't have to tell me anything. I just need to know you wont leave. And thats exactly what you said.
I said that it was your loss but deep down i know its mine too. Because the naive me, after everything you did, would still drop everything, in an instant, for you. I still care about you, I still want you in my life. But what am i suppose to do? When i'm miserable with you, miserable without you.
And i'm starting to doubt, really. What if things didn't happen for a reason? Maybe we're just grasping for ways to make sense of the chaos around us. Maybe we're giving meaning to things that have no meaning. Maybe we're clinging to hope so hard we forget about reality. What if we're wrong and nothing is meant to be? We're just lost souls wandering endlessly, desperately seeking comfort from the notion that things will work out in the end no matter what. What if we've tricked ourselves into believing that everything will be okay in the end just so we don't have to face the reality that maybe it wont. And maybe its just my paranoia, but then again, what if its not.
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