What is the name of the precise moment 

when you realize that you've actually forgotten 

how it felt like to really like somebody

from a long time ago?

It's kinda heartaching hearing you tell her you love her. 

6 things my mother never told me

You won't like your name
until you hear someone say it in their sleep.

Never stop texting someone you want to text. 

If you love them at 815am, tell them.

If you still love them at 5pm, tell them again. 

Like wise, don't text someone you don't want to text.
You wouldn't want someone
to text you when they don't really want to either.

You will be scared of all kinds of things,

of spiders and clowns and eating alone, 

but your biggest fear will be
that people see you the way you see yourself 

You will learn how to sleep alone,

how to avoid the cold corners but still fill a bed.

You can love someone and hate them, all at once.
You can miss them till you ache

but still ignore them when they call. 

June hols (start)

well I don't think it's counted the start of the holidays but it's kinda the end of the start & it's gonna be the start of the end soon (do I even make sense)

but basically the past one week of my holiday since extended curriculum ended went a little like this:

sleeping in till 530pm

dramas

variety shows
youtube

how I met your mother marathons 

supper at 12am in the morning 
tumblr
tumblr

sleeping at 4am
youtube

piano

piano

piano

(re)read delirium & looking for Alaska 

eating excessively 

attempted to run (emphasize on attempted)

the fault in our stars aka sundate w Ziqing (yay I left my house???????)

I attempted to study today so I headed down to Siglap starbucks but ended up going to Minyu's place w Junde eventually to feed his fish and just laze around (what the actual.....) 

kinda in panic mode rn seeing classmates & friends waking up early in the morning to go to the library/coffee bean/starbucks/staying at home/wherever to study like DAILY and ofcourse those who have countless tuitions. honestly I wished I had that self discipline (sighpie) 

but hopefully the next 12 days of my holiday would be very productive. so thankful that I started today (tho it  wasn't much). a little goes a long way and I guess the hardest part to many things is to start, rather than to continue. study hard too guys!!! :-)

just another false alarm

last night I dreamt of you,

no hope, no harm

just another false alarm 

I remember asking myself whilst I was dreaming

if it was reality or just another escape 

which is odd because I don't usually do

but I did and I think it's because 

you were there and so was I 

which is also odd, because it doesn't usually happen

I know it's my subconscious mind acting up again, 

and I know it's not true

I do, I really do 

but why do I still feel your skin 

brushing against mine

as far as guilty pleasures go, 

if I get to vividly remember how it feels like to

lean my head against your chest 

and feel your lips kissing my neck,

settle in a safe place like your arms 

and ensconce myself in you,

or feel a transcendent wonder 

each time you tuck my hair behind my ear 

and lean in for a whisper, 

then please, 

let me be engulfed by this beautiful lie 

-

let me love and be loved by you

(atleast) in another time and place 

it's late into the night 

I can feel my pointless rumination 

feeling the crevice in my skull

and at times like this, 

I don't even bother to try to dismiss it 

the tug of familiarity 

from your touch and smell 

wakes my mind up from where it's suppose to be sleeping 

and I long for you to spoil me 

with the long dated consistency 

you used to give me

but it's too late, 

now that I've jammed right into reality. 

and I admit you're not who I want you to be 

more importantly, 

that some names will always taste bitter

"I didn't write it down to build a poem. 

I wrote it down because that's what I do with things that unravel me. 

I drag them across a page."

-Natalie Diaz

note to self:

Some days I miss you

some days I miss you

when my phone goes silent for awhile 

& I remember how it used to be buzzing with miss calls from you, 

trying to wake me up from my routined accidental naps 

some days I miss you

usually when I play the piano or try to whistle 

because I know it was always kind of our "thing"

some days I miss you 

particularly when the stars shine a little too bright for singapore's night sky

because we used to talk about the cheesiest, most cliche things 

like where do stars shine the brightest

-

they shine the brightness with you