Maybe someday you will realize how much I loved you

how hard I tried to fight for you 

the times I found myself at your door when you never once made your way to mine 

the early mornings I woke up to prepare some food for you that you didn't thank me for 

maybe you'll see me and remember the letters I wrote to you 

the times I fell asleep waiting for your call

how I always tried to be there for you 

how I never wanted you to feel alone 

how I tried to move past your faults

look pass your flaws
how I'm always overreacting when actually it's just another way
to say you mean the world to me
but you can't give less of a damn when it comes to me 

but I'm so broken 

I care about you 

you care about you 

what about me? 

you don't fight for me when I say i cant do it anymore 

you know I feel so much for you

and you've got the guts to tell me you don't feel anything for me 

you don't put yourself in my shoes 

it's all about you 

how your studies will be affected

how it's not benefiting you 

how others will see you 

what people will think of you 

how I hurt you 

what you need to do for yourself 

but fuck it 

I'm over this 

why love someone who only wants you to feel anything and everything but love 

if you're laying in bed

wrapped up in sheets

of miserable thoughts

go to sleep

if thumbling through old messages 

only cause your heart to ache

and long for something unattainable

erase them 

if you can feel 

someone you love slip away from you

and your heart aches 

don't stop fighting for them

keep them with you 

if it hurts to keep 

everything you're feeling 

bottled up inside

let it out

if you're clinging onto someone

that doesn't treat you like 

you're worth the world

let them go

because sometimes

we choose to believe 

that things are only 

Indistinguishable shades of grey

when in reality, 

life is more black and white 

than it seems 

if you're unhappy 

with the way 

you are living your life

change it

I used to spend my nights loving you, mixed up in feelings of desire and heartaches. 

Now, I spend my nights trying to lose you in the mouth of stangers and the words that come out of them. 

I've watched days and months and year pass by, hoping to lose you in the distance, 

but you're never far behind.